i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize