Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
you will always have a special place in my vag
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
