He asked to "fluff my boner.."
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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