Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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