She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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