Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
