hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
is wine microwaveable?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
