I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
