My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
