i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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