it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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