Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
