hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
