hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
