Banned from zoo.
Again?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
