he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
