Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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