No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
