Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Randomize
