U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize