Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
