He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
