maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
