and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I am available for nakedness
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize