i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
