Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
