oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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