He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
