god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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