can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
