I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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