Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
