oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
