i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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