is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
