Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize