Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
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