Well apparently he's into motor boating.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
