i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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