So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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