I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
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