well I can't set my house on fire every night
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
