That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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