Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I think my fart just growled at me.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Randomize
