you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
