he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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