How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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