OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Randomize
