Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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