Kiss
Puke
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
