why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
