Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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