sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
