For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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