Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize