you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
