i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
