New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
