I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
