i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
